It´s not really nice to me talking about myself, but I’ve thought so much about it, about my feelings, sensations and thoughts that I decided to write something.
What I want, what I am, what are my goals, what I am aiming at…? If you ask me all these things right now, I’d probably say that I don’t know. If suddenly I don’t know myself anymore? Don’t think so, really, but I am in that moment of balancing things, giving them the right weight in life, in my life.
I thought about everything, and I realized that I’ve got the most difficult things in life altogether: a well structured family, real friends, love… but it seems there’s something missing, there’s something that‘s taking away my peace within and sometimes even my happiness. I found out that caring for the whole world made me think that the whole world would do just the same to me, that’s what I expected, and it’s not doing so, I confess it’s was so frustrating for me, but who in fact is wrong? Further, is there really someone wrong?
A friend of mine said that I don’t talk too much about my feelings and my problems, unless I am about to blow up, what’s happening right now! It made me think about and I got to understand that I don’t give myself the right of being bad humored, of feeling sad, of not being well at all.
People think I am an “emotional bunker”, just because I make myself so, I show it to everyone.
I was kind of upset with everybody, just to think that I was able (or at least willing) to help everyone, sometimes at the same time and It seemed that when I needed, nobody was able to do so, but I think I was wrong, I just need to say it, to show it.
Obviously I still think that I must change my way of treating people, just some, I am sick of playing a fool, of being always kind, of saying always YES… a new age has come… a time I will take care of myself above everything… a time I’ll give myself the right of being selfish when I think I need it… a time to do what I want and only what I want… a time to love myself the most… a time to be ME.
What I want, what I am, what are my goals, what I am aiming at…? If you ask me all these things right now, I’d probably say that I don’t know. If suddenly I don’t know myself anymore? Don’t think so, really, but I am in that moment of balancing things, giving them the right weight in life, in my life.
I thought about everything, and I realized that I’ve got the most difficult things in life altogether: a well structured family, real friends, love… but it seems there’s something missing, there’s something that‘s taking away my peace within and sometimes even my happiness. I found out that caring for the whole world made me think that the whole world would do just the same to me, that’s what I expected, and it’s not doing so, I confess it’s was so frustrating for me, but who in fact is wrong? Further, is there really someone wrong?
A friend of mine said that I don’t talk too much about my feelings and my problems, unless I am about to blow up, what’s happening right now! It made me think about and I got to understand that I don’t give myself the right of being bad humored, of feeling sad, of not being well at all.
People think I am an “emotional bunker”, just because I make myself so, I show it to everyone.
I was kind of upset with everybody, just to think that I was able (or at least willing) to help everyone, sometimes at the same time and It seemed that when I needed, nobody was able to do so, but I think I was wrong, I just need to say it, to show it.
Obviously I still think that I must change my way of treating people, just some, I am sick of playing a fool, of being always kind, of saying always YES… a new age has come… a time I will take care of myself above everything… a time I’ll give myself the right of being selfish when I think I need it… a time to do what I want and only what I want… a time to love myself the most… a time to be ME.
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